Why My Cat Is Ungrateful

This is an ongoing tally of reasons why my cat is ungrateful.

1. He steals my spot in bed.
   


2. His response to displays of affection is to scratch my face.
   


3. He thinks every time I open the fridge it's for him.
   


4. He chews my New Yorkers.
   


5. He steals my emory boards.